Deep Down My Heart...

Once again and again Untitled

2005-03-22T03:46:00.000+08:00

Too busy to blog recently...recently life is chaotic for mi...reports,lab,projects studies is drivin mi nuts....reali cant take it...omg...wat to do...besides studying and doing sch work i did notink else recently...today not feeling well and kinda frustrated...mayb becos i tried to quit smoking at one shot...but i failed,my body cant take the sudden change. too tired and sick now...feeling so so so unwell...plus orientation coming...knn...so many things to do...so man things to settle...so many things to handle...so much so much until i dun reali hv time for my self....till then signing off here...

ThEn And AgaIn UnTiTled

2005-03-13T14:03:00.000+08:00

HapPenIngs

let's see,the last time i blog is erm..quite long ago...time to update alittle bit...too many things happen recently..good n bad...well,congrats the 3 impt JC females tt i noe n tts Michelle,Xiaohui n Pearlin...heard they did quite well for their As n hope they can get into the course of their choice...now i would like to pray tt my 3 juniors can make it into Poly becos the 3 of them (Wei Cheng,Christina n Chia Seng) each fail one impt module(maths,science n english)...best come to engineering so i can teach them...cos i went thru it...i see Cheng n Seng pattern sure siao liao...lolx...

CoMMonTesT

sian sia....5papers...pass 2....i also shocked...dunno wats wrong...guess i jus hv to improve n improve...think i slack too much,initially still did quite well...haix...despite the teaching from my buddies in sch,i still didnt reali make it for ECA,E-Comm n Maths...well,maths results not out yet...but i guess mostly "buang " oso....CANNOT...HV TO BUCK UP...

SpeCiaLiSaTiOn

well,thnx to Fauzi for telling mi how to check for the specialisation thing...i got into SPITC (Internet Technology & Communication)...erm..tts my first choice...i didn't noe if i choose it correctly...thou its my interest to study IT stuffs but i m quite concern abt few points...1st to be seperated wif my classmates...2nd hv to learn evrytink from scratch...i dun mind actually...3rd,i m worried tt this thing tt i m going to learn has got no market value...As for the first point...i m veri concern abt leaving my class as i m the odd one out choosing ITC while the rest of my clicks choose wireless and embedded system...

ReLaTiOnShIps

Same again...gotta BASTARDS by ppl again...hahaha...(i dunno y i laugh)...mayb i reali see thru the "happenings" part of it...well...time n time again..i tot n tot thru...mayb single is best for mi..i dun reali noe how to be a gd BF...or perhaps i didn't reali hv a chance...when i was wif Michelle for 3yrs,i tink i either hv her too close to mi or i let her off too far from mi..evrytime when i wanted to give her a special "romantic" surprice..she will chut stunt...mayb in the first place i didnt reali caught her heart..followed by are all the "passer-bys" of my life...like my junior (H** Y***) fell for mi ,i was like...oh my god...wat shld i do..i m still waiting for a patch up wif Michelle...den i got no choice but to confront her thru the phone,i learnt tt she cried aft i put down the phone...but not long aft tt i saw her wif another guy i was quite happy for her,she got her happiness...n for joanna's case...i reali look down on say chuan...Candy is a gd gal...how could he do tis to her...jus becos he haven unlock her heart ,he try to go aft 2 gals at the same time...WTF? Peter is the poor guy,to think he still ask say chuan to help him after joanna...guess wat he gotton back??? Peter is not a bad guy,jus tt he tends to do things to the extreme...As for mi,It's perfectly fine...i always get bastards by ppls...wat to do...plus after so much tt i have gone thru thru-out the yrs ,i learn how to forgive n forget,close 1eye n tinks will easily past behind us....Anyway Joanna is not the ideal one for mi...i rmb leasting down the Ideal characteristic of my dream gal....basically y i tink i m not a gd BF...NO $$,NO LOOKS,Too Emotional (BAD TEMPERED..."i m alot better now...i dun reali lose my cool easily now")...

BusSiNesS PlaNnInGs

Same again...got problems n setbacks...but we (Zach n I) will nvr give up...OMG...jus saw the news 2days back...Bill Gates Ranking no.1 Richest guy wif 440Billions on hand....WAH....Anyway..ZAAF will Be out n it WILL...

Future plannings n Decisions

Well...now i jus wanna concentrate on My Studies and Zaaf Planning...for relationships i m veri sian bout it...always get bastards...well...planning to get a bike n car license next week...Ooh ya...Orientation....SEG orientation...OMG...i tot i m the VP...ended i m the VP n treasurer...so many work on hand...n exams is round the corner...tink i can only leave most of the things to Wilson, Sim n Fau...cant take the stresss anymore...studies first...till then...signing off here...

And AgaIn UnTiTled

2005-02-24T23:03:00.000+08:00

well..things are always happening ard 24/7... same again,got "bastards" by ppl, got sad, got dull...but den again..i m a libran,i got self-healing skills....hahaha...guess tts becos i experinced it over n over again..kinda got use to it...tis week is our common test but i jus didnt reali have the heart to study...i tried...i'm reali tried...i played games instead of studying...maple maple...well... not tt i m lazy to study, jus tt the sparks didnt ignited...i did try to study,i reali did...jus tt my other commitments (or i shld say problems too) makes me mentally,physically spiriturlly and all stuffs veri tired...so tired things...as i grown up,the more i yearn for peace..when ever there is arguments not concerning mi,i will jus turn my head n leave...not tt i m afriad,jus tt i dun like arguments as i grown older,i feel tt its meaningless when both parties cant reach a satisfying win win situation, y continue? and if,ppl were to look mi up for trouble..i m veri sorry...u hv choosen the wrong person...i m a living volcano under the deep sea... dun ignite mi...dun offend mi...i may seem veri cool n ah beng on the outside, but tts becos i dun reali noe those ppl...there is no need for mi to be too frenly (as in laugh n smile for no reason)...i tend to be on amour mode when i m with strangers becos, firstly i dun like to entertain strangers,secondly i drawn a veri clean line between frenz,buddy,family n classmates, thirdly i got a Ah BENG look when i dun smile (i enjoy the coolness sometimes) lastly....ppl tend to take advantages when i m kind to them...they like to say awful n lame jokes bout mi or being sacastic (i noe my stand,no need for others to tel mi)... ok back to common test...out of 4,i tink i will fail 2 (e-comm n mahts)...formulas jus jam when i entered the LT,its doesnt seem to come out...for maths...ooh god holy mama....my lecturer reali CMI...after the first attentive lesson..i had not being listening much in class...she reali makes mi pissed off n wanna slp... JC came to my house today...we r suppose to be meeting at the prata shop @8...but he came up to my house instead...well...we did some stuffs n go look ard frensters n ppl online...haha..we went to see the (xiao hai bu ben's selina n kim wakerman's blog).... after tt we went down for dinner at abt 9.30...he keeps promoting mi kim wakerman n ask mi to go for CDC functions... lets tok abt CDC,its sometink like my club (SEG CLUB)... but the prob is..i dunwan go into someplace where my fren is of higher status den mi when i tink i m better (actually i m not any better...hahaha)...jus tt i rather go into a forent place where i reali start from scratch...my position now in the club might be top3...but to mi its jus a empty shell...its heaven's will tt i enter the P election,but its oso his will to let mi not win...he wanted to bring mi to become a more matured n humble person...well,i m jus an ordinary guy too... lets tok abt kim wakerman...i like her(as in she looks great,notink evil on my mind)... i read her blog..i noticed tt well...she needs a normal life oso...she is jus a ordinary 15 yr old gal...wats wrong with being in kidscentral...isnt tt her hobby n stuffs? evryone got a chioce of their own life...y so many critisim bout her n stuffs... well...as the books goes..do not do tinks tt u dunwan others to do to u... she seems to be a veri lonely teen to mi... how nice if i noe her n mayb i could share with her a peace of my mind...mayb she wun not be as lonely...from wat i understand...its hard for her to have a true n faithful fren under her current circumstances...well, i m glad tt god bring JC n i together... we are a pair man...we are a great tag team...he noe about wat i gone through all this yrs... he is quite worried tt i will become a monk becos i m getting n seeing tinks veri plain as time goes by... so he keep asking mi to go CDC n get to noe Kim Wakerman....haha...i dun even noe her...let alone wooing her..lolx!!!!!!! well...she is reali a nice gal n tt matured at her age... as for now,i jus wanna concentrate more on my business planning... well...till den... i m going to watch my fav romace of the 3 kingdom....tadaz..

UnTiTlEd AgAiN...

2005-02-04T01:40:00.000+08:00

There is sometink which i wanna mention first...its last friday...hmm,we had got got lecture from 12 to 4...cant reali rmb the time,i only rmb wat happened...anyway..lesson break,jeff shaojie n i went to bridge for a puff,den when we came back we r walking 3 in a row....i was at the extreme left...joanna was sitting at the bench outside LTN2...dunno y...when she saw mi with a drink or wat,she suddenly walk den run towards extreme rite side...den suddenly turn to extreme left side,she jump infront of mi n snatch my drink while i was drinking...den my classmates started to ask mi "song bo?" "Huat ar,Ryan" "wah...indirect kissing sia..." "Ryan , keep the straw"etc etc etc...got abit high ofcos...but den again,its quite a norm ba...jaslyn always share drinks with mi,but tts becos we r quite close mah..den again,at least for sure,joanna treats mi as a fren rite? i meant who would wanna share drinks with strangers...?well,she is absent from sch for abt 4 days...quite worried for her attendance..in the sense classmates mah... and also,suddenly wah sianz diao...tis few days was like back to the normal A6...reali have to thank my pals who supported mi going after her...i feel bad towards joo cheng sometimes...there are times i fly his kite...i still rmb tt time go fareast to locate joanna's shop...in the end,so many one..which one sia...den i gave up...lets go compass n sit...but den again,i felt so weak at tt time...no longer now...i cant feel inferior becos of my past wif michelle...anyway i met her few days back n found out tt she is sort of being cheated or wat and yet she doesnt noes abt it..i jus tel her to let go when its time...for now i can say...i reali let go of my past le...not becos i found joanna or wat...its because i have matured n learnt to let go when its time...anyway..while i was doing trouble shooting ytd in make up lesson,i suddenly rmb the partnering times i had wif her... so sweet...not tt i m physco or wat..jus tt i feel tis kind of feeling is veri sweet ba...today i was late for my 8 am lesson..i went at 9 becos i rmb sir saying tt lab cannot late...if e-learning late i still can let u sign...so i go at 9 lor...den i manage to sign..tt sir is reali gd..veri gd...its our luck to have him n afew other teacher as lecturers...except for CHUA HONG HONG....reali dun like to attend her lesson...hmm..back to it...we went for internet computing quiz at LTM 2 after Ecomm...den got one stupid lectuer from the other class...ask us to shift here n there while his class can sit together...noob... well,i made a small mistake...haix..i put all "th"...sianz..dunno wat i tinkin oso...joanna wasnt here for the quiz all tt ,althought she got MC,but den can get debarrment oso...wonder how she is,mayb new yr coming..her business oso busy...anyway..my business career seems to be getting on track... i got help from my entrepruenear lecturer,he guided mi on how to start it out,well the rest is up to mi...i seriously dun like the feeling of being poor.. it sucks...anyway,my parents is old,i wanna make more money asap so tt i cant bring them around the world n let them have a taste of luxury life... today during maths lecture,i went to buy sometink to eat wif wen xiang...we eat it at the back lift area next to LTN8...we 2 decided to skip the class since the lecturer CHUA HONG HONG is so diao...plus she not calling names today,den we chatted outside there...wen xiang is not a normal teenager,after tokin to him,i get to noe him more...y did he learn a bike n hv those funny tinkins...its becos he finds that life is boring...so he wanted to make sometink out of his stagnent life...he is a gd guy...reali nice n gentle..may god bless him in having the colorful life he wanted... times up n we went back to attend internet computing...i sat down n chatted wif siyu..he seems to have recovered from his broken relationship n now back on track to go for new gals...he treats us like bro,vice versa..nice knowing him n shaojie...this 2 guys might be from china,but they are my indeed my bros..they are quite supportive n helpful in my studies...reali have to thank them alot...btw,i miss joanna...lolx...till den... to be continued...

XinG Fu RI~~~

2005-01-26T04:53:00.000+08:00

HmM..ToDaY VeRI HaPpY!!!hahaha...today 12 lesson...as usual,go for CP2 lesson...haha den mp spoil again,den MR Leong ask mi go use his comp again,lolx~like special sia...i m now sort of his fav student,he is a gd teacher...veri veri gd...he tot mi patiently n make sure i understands...his lesson ended..we went to E-Comm lecture,i lost my admin card so i tel the lecturer abt it,he seems to be a nice old man..haha den i feel bad sia he ask mi got skip lesson anot i say no(i reali didnt skip b4),i felt guilty becos,aft he let mi sign i go makan..lolx...hahaha..den i faster makan n go back lo..E-Comm ended oso,now comes ECA lecturer,i tol him the same tink and ask him where to replace card n he let mi go to block A..lolx...thats not the best part...lolx..the best part is my my contact wif joanna..so happy man...today seh wore pink top n skirt...wah...melt sia...LOL!!!i ask for her msn,den she ask mi for my hp telling mi tt she will send it to milater(haven recieve..lolx),we shall wait..i m confident tt i will get it the next time i see her...den its break b4 nite class..we went to FJ to makan...den peter sibei extra sia...sit between mi n her..lolx..i dun blame him oso..i find her irresistable too...well,mayb he blur den dunno la...hmm...dunno la...dun care abt him..lolx..i rmb tis afternoon,say chuan tel mi, cannot "du lai du wang,u see peter...",i replied "like i tol u,he got no sha shang li(harmless)"...dunnoe la...lolx! anyway..nite class started,zul tel sir to partner joanna n mi together since we both of our partner is absent...den joanna was beside mi..she said "jing wan ni jiu gen wo le", walan i like high sia...MAMA HIGH...lolx!!! den i tel her..its like u gonna eat mi up lolx,she oso laugh..hahaha...den class started..wah piang..trouble shoot...haix...veri blur sia...i was lost in the beggining...she like power sia..chiong all the way...den i nvr give up..i study the diagram n truth table..den i found out the truth...i mean..WE found out the problem..haha..so paiseh sia..she write the report...she like veri focus on writing..hmm well...den i trouble shoot the second code word..n found out the fault in no time..hahaha...well...she gives mi power!!!den lesson ended...hahah...we did not leave together...we went off n halfway she went to the ladies to wait for her mum to fetch her back..den i leave early wif siyu n mr meng..lolx!!! HmM...recap..my frens/classmates see mi den keep teasing mi..lolx...recap wat they did...say chuan keep pointing the gd signal,candy n lynn keep asking mi if i nose bleed liao anot,later no strenght(due to heavy blood loss) how to party quest(maple),xiao ming come into the class n say gong xi,the rest like wenxiang n gang congrats mi n etc etc etc...lolx!!!!!!!! so SONG!!!!!!...recap my time wif joanna so SONG!!!!!!! she lame wif mi n i lame wif her...lolx!!! so fun!!! she still make the snoring noise indicating the lesson veri sianz..hahaha...she has got decent appearance but den...when u noe her...she is veri veri lame....hahahah...ooh ya...after we found the errors,she "HI5" mi..i did the same n shake her hand...WHOA!!!!!!! her hand quite soft sia n abit small...lolx!!!!!!! i like...hahaha...till den...dot dot dot...to be continued withnice story...eh wait...today mr seah leng wah was in the lift wif mi n wenxiang n JOANNA....den he suddenly say i SLIM DOWN!!!!!!! so song..lolx....joanna tease mi...hahaha...and ya,she sort of dun like smokers..lolx...anyway till den..to be continued....

UnTiTLeD...

2005-01-21T04:33:00.000+08:00

hmm...so long no blog blog...got gd n bad tinks happened recently..first...tt michelle again..pester mi to go out wif her..den i found her she is not up to a veri gd stuffs again..how i found out? she sent to wrong person sms..den i saw..wtf..aft tt,wheneva she jio mi out i will reject or wat so eva..dun care la.. second...business set back...evrytink is being plan out n draft out...but we lack capital to start our business..haix..money money money...we need abt 100k (conservative calculation) haix...etc etc etc..cant rmb n oso dunwan rmb the sad tinks..but lastly..i dunno y..the peeps ard mi nvr show mi support most of the times...infect they like to hit mi rite on the bull's eye...no matter in relationship wise ,studies wise and starting out businesses...studies ok la,i still get abit of technical support from my frenz...but in terms of relationship n starting my own business..haix...its either they tel mi "no chance one la.." if not "so many ppl tel mi set up business..but in the end leh?" etc etc etc..wats tis? come on...they only tok...i reali did wat i can do..but its the capital..but not to worry..Zach n I got plannings to overcome tis prob..we are prepared for the worst...we both hv tis tinkin..we dunwana get sacked at the age of 40..its like a pork on the tepanyaki getting ready to be swollow down the throat.. tts all for the sad part...now its the happy tinks...our class got this new gal...! so song..at least not so dull ..her name is Joanna looks like a quiet gal..but she oso qutie lame one la..she power sia..age of 20,got her own business...wtf...father rich so nice..lolx..jkjk...anyway..my classmates like to make sometinks out of notink...ok la,she got sweetvoice..looks n figure wise oso ok la..not bad..the prob is,our gap abit to far.. she is not the reali ideal type tt i wan..i still rmb..my ECA teacher put her partner wif mi...den when i enter the lab..she said "Ryan ar,see i so gd ,put u partner wif pretty gal"..guess wat i ans? "So..shld i say Thank You?" haha the whole class laugh..den the teacher continue saying i must treat her to lunch,dinner all tt so as to repay her for doing mi a favour by putting joanna wif mi..den i dun care her..start tokin to joana..hahahaa...ok la..if she not ard i somehow got abit weird..but den stnd one la..lolx! she most of the times are sick,if not working..bo bian mah...i feel weird as in,wah class suddenly so dull sia..look here n there still the same ppl...i dunno y sia..my classmates all like bees...like joanna got polent lidat..some of them like to crowd ard her at times..lolx! den i tel candy..she tot i oso wanna fly there..lolx! well,my studies is abit on track now..but den i m still at lost sometimes..lucky got jason leong(CP2 teacher)..he is veri gd sia...my comp spoil,he let mi use his comp..like special student lidat..he tel mi i m his fav student..lolx..i m beggining to like his lesson more...he is a fun guy to mix wif,but i noe he oso got limit one...so i wun go overboard oso..one veri veri bad tink...my sister in law's dad passed away..den she somehow affected by wats goin on in her company n regarding her dad..i tink she is abit weird in the way she tok..tink she suffered too much stresss n pressure from work n back home...lets hope my sister in law will be fine..she is a veri gd mother,daughter in law and SiSter in law...new yr coming,hope evry one will be happy n myself happy..get GD GRADES,GD GF,GD PROFIT OF INCOME & HOPE OUR BUSINESS WILL BE ABLE TO START UP...lastly i got a veri greedy Wish...---->HoPe EvRy KiNd SouL WiLl LiVe EtErNaLly ESP MY FAMILY...signing off here...

Enclosed Envelop

2004-11-30T04:40:00.000+08:00

I was quite enjoying playing the maple story game this couple of days..reali hv to have patients in trainging those cute charactors...nvr reali slp den i went back to schoool for "open house" meeting...only to find out tt this is quite a boring thing..Mr khoo wans us to play those mind games wif youngsters?? OMG!!! anyway.after the meeting ,we went back to ssn club room discuss some stuffs n slack..den off we go to TM...quite sianz oso the place is so diff when i last went wif michelle..well overall,the bus journey is the funniest part..fauzi actually did that peeping hotrod evolving action..nb...hahahhahahaa...after seperating wif fauzi n boon chin,i head on to orchard to meet xin ni n pearlin...quite boring oso la..sit at mac outside shaw less den 15mins take bus go PS..less den 15mins go compass again..den less den 1 hr go home...while waiting for bus i found out sometink sad...the "frenz into bgr tinks " is on again..i wonder y man..frenz into bgr, if ok den it turns out gd...if not? its the sandwich fren tt kena ...haix..i seen too many of it recently...y did they wanna act on impulse saying who like who or wateva?? is their heart reali settled down?? come on la...i learn sometink,1 must noe where he stands n set his piority...as a student study first la..y didnt i recieve enlightenment earlier?? haix..now my heart is totally close for all entries...now wat impt is to study n get better grades next sem..bgr is out for the moment,at least after NS.. i was hurt b4 n i m not reali ready for any kinds of relations at the moment..after NS when i m more matured den continue ...now is the time to set n target my goals in life,studies,business,club n most imptly my family...cant help to tink of it sometimes...my heart is like a closed envelop...u nvr noe wats inside n tt is for the special lady tt god has send to open it up. i tink i hv to change myself..i dun tink i will tok corny infront of any gals now..i have to shake of that ah beng n corny image..tts not the real mi..i joke,i scold,i tok or wateva to the person means tt he or she is some1 i bother to tok to or i shld sae impt to mi..for those which i dun give it a damn,my face will be veri sterning n fierce..tis is to amoured myself from "cuts & thorns" ...and oso cover my past scars...haix...signing off here...doing sometink i will usually do again...diao...

HoKKiEn MeE

2004-11-21T01:04:00.000+08:00

ToDay was a rather strange day...veri tired without knowing y...i slept for almost18 hrs today..wooh wake up at abt 8plus pm!!!power sia...when i woke up,i started my journey on learning IT stuffs again..haha..i wondered if i can take IT in University anot..hahaha...anyway not long aft i woke up,qunfa called mi...den we go over to junfong house...abt 9plus 10 his dad jio us go to mandrain hotel makan...so paiseh...we wear till so "lok cock" den go hotel makan...hahaha...actually is godma n god pa 23th aniver tml..so he treat us go makan...we had ice kachiang..den i haven makan dinner mah..den i eat hokkien mee...walan a...&19plus lor...i eat liao diao ar...hahha but quite nice...got 2 big king prawn..hahaha..reach plus at abt 12am..lolx...quite a not so usual usual day...haha bubu..

BaCkZ

2004-11-19T02:17:00.000+08:00

So LonG no blog le...my template got problem..so i tink jus stick wif the normal template at the moment...no time to change...haha anyway tis few days quite sianz...at home do notink...lolx...all of my fren working if not having their As...cant go out n play...still the same...missing n tinkin of those few persons...meanwhile take care all my frenz...miss u~~~

SeNtiMeNtaLiNa

2004-10-24T17:35:00.000+08:00

well...seems like today is another sentimental nite for mi...it has been veri long since i care to blog...ever since june i didnt have a break cos my club's stuffs alot..have to do events after events...lookin forward hmm...cant take a rest till we have handed down to the next batch... personal tinks i put aside for a long time..mayb its becos i didnt wanna tink of the past tts y i put myself into getting busy all the time..on the day of my cost accounting paper,i dream of michelle committing suicide...tts too horrifying for mi...i was walking wif claudia down a brigde n happen to see her..aft tt change scene den suddenly she is on the edge of high building n wanted to jmp down..claudia n i was behind metal bars...we cant stop or i shld sae i cant stop michelle from jumping..tis dream makes mi feel tt i cant forget her at all! i spoken to Joo Cheng abt it..he tol mi tt i was the one who dunwana n cant let go...tis fellow..has always being my best fren...even when he finished exam he still comes out n study wif mi...lucky to hv him as bro! jus b4 i decided to blog again,i was browsing frenster's my fren's pic...wel..happen to saw "her" pic..change quite alot..well..wat is it tt i cant forget her??cant help of it...evrytime when i happen to tink of her...my cigareattes will disappear one aft another...i tink quite sianz also..y is my blog or i shld sae my life so far also abt her?? haix...well...den i look on my testimonials...m i tt gd as my frens have describe?well i used to tink "aiya testi put as a form of polite only" but den again...if i m not ,y do they bother to write friction? lookin back at everytink n all my frens...i seem to be lacking behind them...way back them...they hv found their happiness in wateva tinks...but for mi its still the same...i gave up music..my frens got into gd bands...imy relationship suck,my frens have my blessing...my studies no improvement,my frens DIST all the way...cmi...tinks have to change...from now...yes..i mean now...well..den again..i tink i need to cool down n tink abt it tinks again...signing off here...

XiaoBao86 Birthday long version...

2004-10-03T16:41:00.000+08:00

3 days aft my birthday...haha..18 liao le..finally legalised to smoke after 6 yrs...hahaha..i was rather sad or i shld sae veri sad the period between my last blog n now..too many tinks had happened the tink that upset mi most is the SEG ElECTION incident...in was 1 day before the election tt i noe tt i m the represetative of A&R,before tt i noe nuts abt it...den i prepared myself for the following day..i was still veri excited abt it until mr chai called mi to his office 3 hrs before the election,less then 5 sentences he hinted mi tt i cannot win the election as president becos he is working wif directors den the criteria of president must be gd in studies...i got wat he meant n i swallow it down n went for the election nvrtheless...but who noes...the club tt i represented back stab mi..they questioned mi abt wat i hv done for A&R n many many hurtful tinks as i was from SSN...haix...like i predicted i was elected as the treasurer of SEG club..the rank is big,top 3 but i jus cant swallowed this unjustice tink down my throat,but well..wat over is over..i will do my part still and glad tt now i m slowly being accepted by A&R n the whole club n not just SSN...so i shld end here with the bad part...now is sometink happening...i passed 4 out of 5 for my commontest...hahaha BCDDF...lousy grades but as compared to the past,i tink i did improve abit...hahah happening la...last tink is my BIRHTDAY!!! although some of my frens forgot abt it but i was ok...as compared to the past few yrs of birthday celebration let's see...from sec sch...sec 1,cant recall anytink ...haha...sec 2...hmm..my mum didnt bother much abt my birthday instead so i quarrel wif her...my sis noes it and ask her frens to celebrate with mi and thus my christianity road begans..not long i backslided oso...sec 3 i was together with michelle...i went to her sch few days before my birthday n got a presnt from her...den on my birthday rite aft sch i rush to her sch...den her twin sis melanie tol mi tt she went home..den i saw her coming out from the sch gate..lolx..i sianz ar..den walk to bus stop den go to her place to wait for her at her busstop..loyang valley..lolx...aft a long time she came back wif her sis n her sis's bf..she stay behind wif mi at the bus stop n we hv a little chat..she tol mi she was running ard tampines mall lookin for mi..i was so touch,we hold hand stand at the bus stop for half an hour...hahah bus came n i jus didnt wanna go...we parted at last,i rmb tt yr tt day was oso mookcake festival..jf asked mi over his house to celebrate but i was so damn sianz den i stay at home to slp...sec4...sad oso...she clearly forgotten or i shld sae ignored abt it...jus slp only...wat the..last yr,wif candy lynn simon n peter...den left the four of us minus off peter,had a okok time la...but den...stop! sianz liao..dun tok abt sad tinks..tok abt happy tinks...tis yr birthday!!happy!!at nite tok to chee wee till 4 plus..haha..didnt wanna missed my time once in a yr..den morning go sch..hv lesson as per normal..den during lesson break for 2 hrs we hv got a veri fun time..siyu n shao jie bought mi MOVE CD N DVD!!!!!so touching...they tol mi they went to sell their blood for it..den i took it for real cos our sch they hv tis blood doantion tink from SHS...veri touch lor...for mths i saw that MOVE disk but no money to buy it...they acutally bought it for mi!!! so touched man..den aft tt we went amk makan den go arcade den go back to sch for Microp lab...den nite time went eat dinner together den went for nite class Data Comm during the lesson the class quite emtpy..haha...den all of us surf net instead of studying..even xiaoming..the gd boy of our class..hahaha den finally break time...5 mins break but we came back half an hour later...we went to hv my birthday celebration...outside LTN1 therethey sang a song for mi,we took pictures den i make a wish n blow off candles...so nice u see..den while i was cutting the cake...cream splash on my body!! tt wenxiang..hahaha...den we begun our cream cake war...hahah tts the first one i had in my life man...not to forget...kenneth join us too,he was obedient on tt day,notink wrong...gd gd..he refused to join us taking a photo but he did eat the cake..hahaha...aft tt we went back to class...i present mr kalai the cake n he congrats mi...class finished,n i went to meet edwin n my "wife"XINNI!!! and her gang at prata shop...hahaha den john and yuan joined shortly...time is not early so i asked the gals to go home first as they got curfew...time flies...is getting closer to 12...time ends..i went home to hv the cake bought by my family...hahaha tts all...wait a few more weeks to blog ba...exam soon...study hard POH...hahaha nite....

3 days aft moi bday

2004-10-03T16:28:00.000+08:00

3 days aft moi bday...quite happy...so much tinks happened between my last blog n now...SEG CLUB the most...well,bad tinks has past...now i m 18..older,new life n road for mi..i have got a nice birthday celebration tis yr...so nice..my classmates bought mi MOVE CD N DVD...my BOR n brother n Frens bought mi a cap my sis bought mi a "bird" ..well..didnt receive much tis yr but the sms tt i received is as gd...reali appreciates it..tt day notink much..got nite class,sch as usual ...but my classmates really touched my life...during nite class break they celebrated for mi,i felt veri shine but i still continue...they sang the bday song for mi as a blessing,i make a wish n blew the candles..we had a cream cake war shortly aft wenxiang started it...hahaha we turn the place outside LTN1 into a war battlefeild n had got a great time...i present mr kalai(nite class teacher) the cake n recieve his blessing too...aft class end at 10,i took a cab n rush down to prata shop,ewin my bro,XINNI my BOR,yanfang n pearlin my fren waited veri long for mi over there. we chatted and i recieved their blessing n gifts. john n ting yuan joined us shortly...time reali flies..my 18th birthday ended "colorfully"..lolx..how i wish there is 7 days of my birthday...hahaha...tts all for today...happy birthday RyAn KwA SaY PoH AkA XiAoBao86...sometimes i really miss u BaByCoOl...u noe who u are...till next time...to be continued....

Dot dOt DoT..

2004-07-22T02:31:00.000+08:00

Hmm... actually dunno wat to write oso..let's see,7am wake up 745 wait for bus at amk S-11 wait for bus 159 for an hr..walan a..nvr late wait till late den miss soh lesson somemore.ended up bo bian...self declare break till 10,during 9 to 10 i went to meet travis n jeanies for breakfast aft tt follow him to library to search for flash dummies all those..wat to do,SEG students..not SIT..haix..den aft tt 10 to 11 got EDA tools...den notink oso 11am hv my so called first NDC HEADS MEETING...wat the..secretary not there to take mins..haix..dunno la..sometimes really wanna give up evrytink...cant take it..there is alot of tinks i happen to see the mistake but doesnt hv the power to correct ppl...haix...studies wise,i tink i abit slack oreadi aft i fell sick(well..i m still sick) but no no..hv to buck up again..cannot slack anymore...5DIST..well den let's see...aft the so called MEETING without a sec,i went to join cheewee they all den at 1 pm i went to smoke wif shaojie n den go to P711 to celebrate tin's birthday,was reali full but still eat a small piece of it..aft evrytink i went back to join cheewee n gang,at abt 4 13 we reached simlim...wooh..we had a veri veri veri long walk,see alot of new stuffs..welll to mi,go sim lim often does help,at least not outdated..nvr go simlim for like 3 to 4 mths only...alot of new stuff come in..but see winson so stress wif his serial port stuffs i oso dunno how to console him...well..haha...aft tt erm...we go eat "bao bian" den take mrt home...in mrt saw noe veri veri "you xing mei nu" aiya notink much oso..see long liao oso immuned..den i stop at bishan den take 156 home...tts abt today ba...reach home wat i do sia? erm...makan do planning for tml's meeting,venue bla bla bla...haix...i tink i need to DIAO again den go orh orh le....nite nite..hahaha..wan an bao bei n miss xx...lolXz

SickXxx

2004-07-20T19:26:00.000+08:00

Hmm..so long nvr come n update le...so so long..b4 orientation n till now..so many tinks happened within tis period,1st orientation is so so fun..i could hardly rmb afew guys i mean gals hahaha...only rmb a few peeps,yanling from ec0407 n bao bei from ec0425 n let mi tink...still got who..hmm tts abt it..only afew i could still rmb the face only...during tt 3 days i m quite happy,happy wif my performance,my department,whole event n lastly all the peeps including yr1s..there might be some naughty or mischevious yr1s ard but i feel its ok,jus tok to them nicely i tink they will oso treat u nicely,basically tis is jus human communication,i rmb i didnt sleep much during orientation periodthe last nite i tot i could slp but who noes..i hv to stay awake to do those compiling of marks for games,its like my i/c like dunno wat la...all top 20 ecc? he trying to make a fight inbetween SEG ppl is it...well,in the end i changed all..i chose 10 ecc 5 me n mf class to be..hmm,i rmb this group clearly...i gave them second,if i not wrong its MF 0406...cos got 1 gal veri sporty veri cute,caught my attension...she bargain wif mi for marks ..hahaha..their ogl oso not bad,come n tok to mi in Food junction during first day of sch..i couldnt rmb him...ok back to tt gal,not bad la,but too small for mi ,tt time walk pass her she still smile to mi,not too bad ar..haha..during orientation i m route 3 in-charged so i walk ard to do forfeits on classes aft tt most of them i gave marks,,mf0406 is one of them,i tink i jus met tt guy ytd but he could regconise mi or he dare not sae hi ba...cos i m usually veri fierce looking outside sch when i m alone or wat lor...haha..lastly in tea dance room,i wanted to go in n dance le,go in only cindy ask mi to be bouncer..haha..she tol mi hey u be bouncer dun let ppl out den i sae "ORH~~"..den i sianz half..when i hv my spects on,ppl still dare to come close to door..so i took off my spectsn crossed my arms..haha..den i saw no one come close to mi...but later on,got one grp of yr1 gals came to mi sae wanna go toilet ,i ask serious anot..den i let them off...surprice to see tt gal came back ltr..den i tol her,hmm gd gd..i tot u lying..den we chatted abit,i couldnt rmb wat we tok oreadi..somehow rmb vividly i tol chat wif her tt "u tink i wanna be bouncer meh..bo bian leh,come in only ppl ask mi to be bouncer..haha"..den we both smile all tt,tt yr1 worst,i dunno name n course..hahahahahah..
Aft orientation notink much oso,i concentrate on my studies n try to get into SSN committee,my studies i abit slack oreadi cos i sick,reali no mood to study..since last friday till now,at first throat infection,den fever den alot more illness came follow up,now i m still sick...i tink its becos of thurday,when i recieve the news tt i was head of department i was veri happy...but den...ltr i heard fr chang tt he nominated mi as NDC chairman but candy dunwan...i was wondering y..den evrytink like suddenly so shocking n stressssss,i was stress wif both studies n NDC,reali not much time left den thurday nite i cant slp at all,since 9plus to 10plus...cant take it...but aft tt i dun care,look in a positive manner,they trust mi to do such impt event,chairman n vice is jus a post,notink much to do oso...
my class candy...hmm..i was sick den i put my msn nick sick all those lor,alot of my fren ask how was i,so did candy..but its like too late le...my heart is dead den she come n concern n care abt mi,if in the past,i would hv tot of it as veri sweet,so sweet tt i tink all my illness will be gone..but not now..not tt i m not fiathful towards gals,jus tt since it doesnt get reciprocated den wat for do i continue...i dunwan history to repeat,one Michelle is enuff...
LAstly is tt tiem,last friday during lunch break i went to canteen wif shao jie they all(my classmates) den all of them go buy food to eat while i wait for them as y dad bought makan for mi in the morning,so while waiting,i stood up n saw a gal from SCL(Sch of Chemical Life-science),reali reali reali melt mi lor,the moment i saw her,its like so fantasy, so meng huan..den when my pals all came back tel them no one believes...she look like Ryoko Hirosue lor,she nvr smile at mi i oreadi melted...so wat when she smile at mi..wah...melt n dyhidrate ar...hahahahaha i name her Miss xx,ytd,monday,i went to canteen n eat but nvr see her,hope can see her more often den get to noe her or wat den mayb go aft her???hahaha...end of story for her...now Bao bei...not i flirt but den its like i single mah..no harm see n noe more,but i m definitely not ji-hong lor....i was looking for nizam aft sch..den who noes i saw her lab,next to nizam,den i drag him out n tok,anywae its too noisy in his lab,he cant concentrate oso..so for hrs we stand outside n tok while i look at her..aha she nice la..dunno y ppl sae she not nice...haix...actually i tink i need love now..i m veri stressssss up now...haix...k la,i go DIaO DiAO liao le...

HaPpy But LonEly

2004-06-18T20:52:00.000+08:00

Its has been a long long long long time since i ever update my blog..reali got no time for it..aft i join the Orientation 2004 planning commitee, its reali reali a busy period..evryday stay in sch from morning till nite..at first quite stress but at a later stage i enjoy quite alot..lots of tinks happen to mi during tis period,hopefully i can recall and write down..but overall i can only sae its HAPPY BUT LONELY!! First tink, veri stressss at first regarding the proposal..veri veri veri stresss,veri lousily done,i oso dunno wat to sae,so lousy tt i cant trust others to do the job..i can only depend on myself,for the past few weeks,i dun reali have time for myself and to slp oso..i used to tink i no need to slp one,but i was wrong,i still need to slp like a normal human being..evrytink was done by myself initially,my IC did help oso,but too slip short ended up i have to do it again for him..cos when i help him to edit it takes a longer time den i do a new one..there was once,when i was supposed to submit the proposal by mid nite,den my sis come n distub mi,i was like so stress up tt i cant finish it oreadi u still disturb mi..ended up i exploded like i was in the past..went crazy,whack tinks all tt..ended up both hand swollen, bruised,bleed head oso swollen..lucky my senior they all quite understanding..my frens oso they ask abt mi all tt..i was so angry tt i put my msn nick "i m in a fucking bad mood now,dun tok to mi,those tt need to find mi i noe,i will msg u later" all in captital letters..today..finally..proposal is being accepted..i was so so HAPPY loh..its like,my hard werk paid off..seniors tol mi veri gd veri gd,den another said,hmm tis is so far the best proposal from all the 3 departments..not trying to show off but its like finally its done..my seniors approved it after dunno how many times of rejecting the proposal..tis few weeks i noemore abt my seniors and at the same time abt NYP SEG.i went to SEG LTC..so so tough..and shagged..but i enjoy it..make alot of new frens learn alot of new tinks and oso after SSN camp and OGL camp i find tt i changed quite alot..even my best fren JONATHAN said so..not to forget ting yuan oso..haha..its has been long since i got time for supper...hope to see u guys more often aft my busy times..i dunno y oso..i wasnt so hard werking when it comes to study but when it comes to proposal i m veri veri veri hardwerking..MR fauzi oso said so..haha...hey fauzi,thanx for helping mi compiling tt time n today..u noe la,up till now i still havent hv complete trust for my IC..its like so many tinks on my hand,so heavy responsibilities on my shoulder sometimes i gonna break down, but i tel miself "nvr sae DIE",no matter wat even if i m alone i must complete the task..cant let my department and seniors down..its like today,i noe Daniel n Serene veri gd to mi as in dunwan mi to do evrytink den ask mi go shopping wif them,i m veri thankful to them..thank u seniors..and Jacq oso,she may appear fierce but when it comes to playing she oso can be veri crazy one..haha..George,he oso another funny guy..hahaha..stnd one..at sunset only ask "hey u all wanna go have dinner together?" haha stnd Q evrydae,thanx to them for showing us guidance as in how to do the proposal, it help mi alot at the samtime i learn alot of tink which will be useful infuture..
now..my lonely part..sometimes in life i tink..y is it i m always fighting alone? n i only have support from my family,frens and buddies..y not the gal i love and love mi? sometimes i will tink of candy,michelle or even xiaohui...its like..this r the gals , those gd gals tt slip thru mi..i got the chance to tel them how much i fell for them but i didnt..michelle..y? y is it that i got the chances to make u stay wid mi but i did not..reali regret,i reali reali love u alot,i can swear to god,heaven earth sea tt i reali love u..we have been together 3 yrs,i tot we can reali last foreva..u noe wat,u r the firt gal i reali love n tts it..u r my mental support at times..wheneva i feel lonely n sad i will tink of u, so many times i dun mind waiting at mrt for several hrs jus to meet u, rush to ur sch to meet u or go to ur house there jus to take a look at u..but now its all over,i reali hope tt u will be happy noe and foreva..xiaohui,although its jus a crush on u but i reali hv abit of feelings for u cos u r a veri veri veri gd gal in my eyes,at tis age which gd gal will wanna concentrate on studies and den at the same time do house work,look after siblings all tt..in my eyes i can tel u,u r the perfect wife tt all men likes and want..candy,sometimes i take a look at our pix, y is it..that there r so many problems inbetween ppls ard us..i did reali treat u gals wif my heart and soul to make fren,but in the end wat did i get from u all? hurtful feelings, u all patch tiks up wif simon,tts great but cant u all see that he is trying to make u gals go back to him n outcast mi? i can tel u sometink,lynn is someone veri hard to please..in the end all tis tinks brought mi n jaslyn together and we became quite close fren, gd fren i shld sae..its like,i m not afraid that u will see my blog,i jus want my feelings to be expresssed...y heaven let us meet n let mi develop feelings for u, but i jus cant make u my lover? y is it some guy, damn lousy guys got a gd gf while i m always fighting the battle alone? i m so sick n tired of this feelings.. although i tol myself to concentrate on Orientation 2004 first and my studies oso but i jus cant help it tinkin of how lonely i m..sometimes reali reali gonna break down but i tel myself the rite gal will eventually come..i went to temple and got a divine, it saes tt my marriage life is good and prosperous ,i noe the special gal in my life will appear eventually,but when? i scare tt i might not be able to stand alone n wait for u tt long..

wAT A PANIC DAY ...results out

2004-05-29T07:12:00.000+08:00

Mid nite,29may 04. Panic sia..RESULTS OUT!! on 28th may i fell aslp ard 8 plus,woke up ard 10plus..cant get back to slp...den watch "PI LI HUO"..ard 11.30i went down to buy makan...but den close liao coffeeshop..lolx..i cal Ting Yuan,ask him wanna go makan supper anot,but he was to shagged..i noe he gotta werk,so i did not insist him on going,but we chatted on fone,i asked him regarding his results as we both r nyp but diff yr..he yr 2 nursing,while i yr 1 ECC SEG...we both panic abt results,fr 11.30 we count down to 12am,aft tt he called his ex to check for him,so we put down..aft tt he sms mi,said tt the server busy den cant log in,the best tink to do is to slp..haha.
My sis la..walan a..i kan jiong wanna check results,she still can play yahoo pool till so song...wat the...aft tt abt 1am,she finally got up n let mi use...i tried for hrs to check the results...keep on displaying,not avaialable,pls try again...i tot wat sia...i tried all the passwerds oso cannot...den Candy Check for mi,oso cannot...sianz 1/2 reali sianz 1/2...while WE(SSN BROs N SISs)were hving mass chat,i kept on panic n panic...den they calm mi down...CHEEWEE!i rmb u say i got A u wanna tok!,tok wat?hahah tok= talk or cut?hahha...den i suddenly rmb i reset my pin b4,so i open up my student email n check,i cut n paste the passwerds!WEE U WEET!!!all pass la..but not veri gd loh,i reali thank god,cos i veri scare,i skip lab,lecture,tutorial..so many yet i passed...reali thank god...i promise to do hard man...no i shld sae n hard n smart.aft tt,i got my results,all of my SSN BUDDIES n afew fr my class pEeps ask abt it,i Tol Them n recieve greeting fr them,reali thnk god n thnx to some of them for teaching mi...XIN NI,maths..Joo Cheng,digital ELectronics..Cindy n Verona,Electirc Circuit..tis 3 is the most IMPT ones...those not so impt ones i must almost thnk some peeps fr my class,esp shao jie n siyu,they may b fr china,but they r not so snobbish,they treat mi veri well,always help mi in my labz...thanx to all th PEEPS tt help mi...
Aft tt..we SSN Mass Chat again..lol..fauzi n wenjun..tis 2 guys ar...siao one...fight for who is ven hellsing,samurai bla bla bla...crazy..den wanna go liao still tok cock drag time dunwana go..haha,cheewee best..keep chasing them away,lolZ i saw liao oso join in the fun...lol...veri funny la,ssn ppl..they make my life brighten up alot...ok,now its morning..gtg n do my stuffs...tataZz...

F.I.R songs...i like the lyrics...

2004-05-25T05:24:00.000+08:00

我们的爱过了就不在回来,直到现在我还默默的等代,我们的爱我明白,以便成你的负担,只是永远我都放不开最后的温暖...你给的温暖...

2004-05-25T05:07:00.000+08:00

mimi

2004-05-25T05:05:00.000+08:00

love

First love

2004-05-25T04:12:00.000+08:00

Well,tis is my first blog,i dunno y i hv it too,mayb i jus wanna express out my feelings deep down my heart...i was looking at some of my frens blog,frenster,i saw my ex sis blog too.den my ex,michelle suddenly came to my mind,i decided to link to her blog n take a look...now is like 4.13 am in the morning 25thmay04,i was suppose to go to sch,NYP,for Orientation Grp Leaders Meeting at ard 9 plus for breakfast,but i jus cant get to slp...when eva i cant slp or when i m lonely,my ex will pop up n conquer my world brain...now listening to First Love by Utada Hikaru.Michelle,was the first gal i reali reali put in my heart n soul into loving her,the previous was puppy love or infactuation..we were together for3 yrs...break ups n quarrels were not so often,but we did hv it.feel like crying wheneva i tink of her,but man cant simply shed tears...sometimes i reali hate tis phrase...who saes man cant shed tears?we r humans too...i did shed tears but not infront of others...the last time,i could hv salvage the relationship by sweet toks,but i didnt...i scold her infact,reali veri veri regret even though up till now i still dun tink i m in the wrong.i love her alot so y cant i jus give in n sweet tok?i reali regretted...deeply..she is attached now,the moment i knew it i was like...ooh man...like gonna cry lidat,but still hv to act strong infront of ppls...who noes wats deep down my heart? evryone tinks tt i m fierce on the outside,i noe im...i m jus trying to put on a tough front to protect myself fr getting hurt...i wanted to hv a chance to get back wid her...becos my heart n i believes tt our fate is not over yet...we still hv got so much tinks haven do together...we went into a relation on 2sep2001,9days b4 911 incident.when we first broke up at nov18,2001,i was so sad,i rmb tt time,i jus bought a new hp N8210 aft 3 days,i sort of hate of fone tt time...tt nite was stephen chow's show,ard 8 to 9 plus,guo zhan te wu 008,i noe he was one of her fav comedy actor,i msg her for forgiveness as i quarrel wid her for one week...one bloody week...aft tt she ignored,den i msg again,"mic,u there?",she replied "Ryan, i tink we better break up,there will be no gd enging bla bla bla...",i was so sad,i took my pouch n jus tel my parents i goin out tonite,not coming back...my parents noe tt i m in real bad mood so they did not ask much...i went to east coast to meet some old pals,when i saw the sea,i feel like drowning in it,see car wanna get myself bang,see aeroplane hope they crash down on mi...
i m oso veri uncertain abt certain tinks in life...wat will become of mi infuture?wat m i going to do infuture...so sick n tired of my poly life at tt moment..wat will happen tml?i experince all the sad tinks at one go...cant take it tt time...its all thnx to joo cheng ,jonathan,ting yuan,edwin huang,xin ni,pearlin all those gd buddys of mine..if not i dunno wat will happen to mi...aft writing all tis i felt much better...reali much better...although my buddies ,zul n fauzi ask mi to slp,i didnt,actually is becos,i cant slp early,tts my body clock...another tink is,my mind is always on to tink of sometinks,some ppl at tis time...my fav tinks, animal n numbers or wateva is MOON,TIGER N NUMBER 7.now is 4.36amin the morning...tink its time for mi to smoke n do other tinks...signing off here....haix...